have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
