so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
