He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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