This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
