I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
