so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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