I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
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