I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
