Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
im on a boat
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