he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize