he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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