I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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