THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
