absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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