Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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