i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
