Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
