we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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