Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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