i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
