He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize