He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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