wakey wakey hands off snakey
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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