i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
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He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
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Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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