:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Randomize
