Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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