Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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