Michael Bay diarrhea
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
he was CRYING into my vagina
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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