Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
