I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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