Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Randomize
