You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Terrible idea I love it
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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