not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
