Where did you get a picture of my penis
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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