We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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