By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
