And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
