I just saw a hot homeless man
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
of course. lets lasso hookers.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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