I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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