Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
