It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I take back everything I said about communal showers
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
