Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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