his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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