Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
