Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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