She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
