This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
