dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Even my vagina gasped.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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