So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
