Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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