He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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