guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Holy shit dude........stairs
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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