Can Purell be used as lube?
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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