Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize