Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
