Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
It was a blind-side dick pic.
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