i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I need a beard to bite.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
