I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
