Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize