it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
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Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
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Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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