My balls are so social today.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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