i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
