New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize